This episode of Queen Sugar left me thinking about ownership, the broke struggle and being a fixer. As usual, I will be unpacking scenes from the episode while adding context and perspective, but also in today's analysis, I will be adding in some personal stories to connect the dots.
Ownership & The Brown Sugar Festival
On Episode 10 of Queen Sugar, we found Charlie at a table with Sam Landry and a couple of other community members discussing the annual festival Queen. When Charlie mentioned how great of a candidate that Keke would be, she was assured that she didn't know how things "ran around there," which was code for stay in your place, and that Black girl will never be our Queen.
Later in the episode we found that as an act of resistance, Keke applies annually, knowing that she won't be chosen. Now to fast forward to this episode, Keke was crowned the Brown Sugar Festival Queen, with the festival being a Black legacy that Charlie brought back.
What I love about this thread of events, is the subtle nod towards ownership. Though I made mention of this during last week's analysis, I am tired of hearing about firsts and begging for inclusion. If we focused on ownership and created products and platforms that were built with Blackness at the foundation, we wouldn't have to beg them for anything.
Ralph Angel and the Broke Struggle
Brokeness is probably the most uncomfortable struggle that I've had to wear. Brokeness makes the day to day more difficult because it almost forces you to make decisions with your pockets in mind, though you may not always arrive at the most logical, beneficial or strategic solution.
Eternal brokeness can even sour your outlook and perspective on life. It can keep you from seeing the world, which with holds you from dreaming bigger and thus actualizing those dreams.
In this episode, RA voiced his concerns to Hollywood about the farm breaking even, and him worrying about not being able to give Darla the wedding she deserves. While I can empathize with this brokeness, I was triggered watching this.
Yes, being broke yourself is uncomfortable, but having to pacify the ego of a grown broke boy (yes boy, because men are able to detach their ego from their bank account) is even worse. I look at all the women who get cashed out in relation and situationships, like "where they at doe?" I have always ended up in jams where I make more than the other person.
The burden of brokeness isn't singular. It's the babysitting of egos, having to pay double, dealing with broke induced attitudes, and having to tirelessly illustrate how "down" you are. Y'all can keep that shit! While I've done some unpacking within myself to understand why I continued to get into those jams, what I can assure you, is that never again will I date a broke boy.
Robert Dubois, The Fixer
"Hi, my name is B. Bad and I'm a recovering fixer. Hi, B. Bad!"
The scenes between Robert and Nova spoke to me on a spiritual level, but it allowed for me to see an opposing perspective. As mentioned, I have been in multiple jams with those who have shallow pockets, and I unpacked this to get to the true root of the problem which is me being a fixer.
What I mean by fixer is that I always saw "the good" in someone and wanted to help them take theirselves to the next level. While this is an admirable trait to have in regular world, the realm of dating and love is a space where certain normalcy's cease to exist.
In a relationship, you shouldn't be dating potential based upon your perception. While you and your partner should be a team, it is not your job to re-invent or change them. During this episode, we saw Robert strategically change the course of dialogue during an on-air interview with him and Nova. The change, and unbeknownst to Nova while sparking viewer engagement, forced Nova to consider Robert's intentions.
While Robert's intentions may have come from a pure place, Nova read between the lines and realized that Robert was trying "refine" and elevate her. From the perspective of the person being fixed, why would I want someone who doesn't love me as is. Or, someone who is in love with this idea of my elevated self. Understanding that, and being too old for the bullshit and games, Nova decided to dead things there.