I needed this episode to come with a warning label, it should have read "warning this episode may cause slobby crying."
From the opening scene with Aunt Vi, to the arrival of Darla's parents that induced the seasons biggest gag to date, episode 13 kept me both wiping my eyes and sipping tea.
1. Lupus Awareness + Aunt Vi
While I feel like Aunt Vi is my auntie in real life whom I'd never want anything to happen to, I am almost relieved that they are giving the disease a role in this show. Lupus is a disease that affects 1 in 250 Black women, and is three times more likely to affect Black women than white women, but unfortunately it isn't very talked about like most health issues in the Black community. Insertions like this into film and media spark both necessary conversation and curiosity.
2. Listening to Listen + Darla
This reunion between Darla and her parents was probably the most tear jerking part of the entire episode. I was on pins and needles waiting for them to be as horrible as she painted them, but they weren't. I even enjoyed her mother's character and would love to see her more throughout the series.
Beyond the bombshell Darla dropped at the end, the most profound part of their arrival was the conversation between Darla and her mother on the porch. Darla started sharing her feelings about the way she felt after being cut off from her parent's, and how it felt like abandoment. Her mother then responded, by letting her know how difficult it was for them to even make that decision.
In conversations and communication in general our biggest downfall is that instead of listening for comprehension and understanding, we listen to respond. During dialogues like this, resolve only comes when both people can clearly see and understand the other side, even if they may disagree. While you may have felt how you felt in that moment, it is critical to understand that same occurrence from the opposers vantage point.
3. The Closure We All Wish We Had + Nova
I connected with this scene between Nova and Calvin on a spiritual level. I found myself cheering, gagging and finally coming to terms with the fact that I am Nova, and she is me. While some people can take self inventory and glow up without tragedy, most of us actualize our true selves following trauma.
I say it all the time, but a fuck boy kickstarted by journey into all things self, and while I despise him, the journey was invaluable. So much that, as who I am today, I would have never even gave that nigga my digits. So much that I used to wish I could have one final closure conversation with him. If for nothing, to show him that who he fucked over no longer occupies residency in my body. To show him that I think, speak, and will differently, and to help him un-see the desperation that allowed him mistreat me.
When Nova's relationship with Calvin was explored last season, of course I understood the dichotomy that they were trying to explore between Nova's love and life interests. I was waiting on the moment for Nova say what we were all thinking, to come to grips with how those two parts of her were too conflicting to co-exist.
The final conversation between them though, is where I got my entire life. I damn near feel set free after watching Nova be strong enough to understand and explain that though I love you dearly, this will never work. The need for closure doesn't always necessary come out of a place of spite, but a place of unpacking your feelings and leaving free.
While I feel like crying on Aunt Vi's shoulder with a blunt, and asking Darla to square up, Queen Sugar is continuing to create necessary dialogue in the black community.