Reflection has a way of grounding, teaching us, while also forcing us to celebrate ourselves. Unfortunately, most Americans feel like they are merely existing to pay bills. Which can have us living life in auto pilot. Never stopping to smell the roses, and if we aren't living in the present, we certainly aren't taking the time to let the past teach us.
Before 2017 wraps up, I want to challenge you all to reflect on your year. Looking at your wins, assessing your losses and learning lessons, that you can take with you into 2018.
In 2018, I am seeking to celebrate myself more. I've found that I quickly move away from major wins and milestones in my life. Failing to acknowledge my progress along the way, which in turn allows for me to become consumed by any bumps in the road.
However, if I really sat back and tallied the ratio of wins to losses, the latter wouldn't compare. Therefore, I will be using the rest of 2017 to reflect on my many wins and thus celebrate myself. So that I can enter 2018 feeling encouraged intrinsically, and prepared to take on whatever the year brings.
The losses are what tend to take precedence in our minds, they overshadow the wins and happiness, as they force us to feel. While uncomfortable, we shouldn't run from that. In this space, we must allow ourselves to go through whatever range emotions needed. Between always having to be everything to everybody, Black women aren't given the time to deal with their emotions, which is why we absolutely have to.
With that same token though, let's give ourselves the space to be human and forgive ourselves as we all make mistakes. Connecting with your losses is about gaining closure, so that we aren't carrying these with us like a tether. No one is perfect, so you don't have to hold yourself to a superhuman standard. It's okay to fuck up, because the beauty is in how you move forward.
I love to learn, so I approach life with a student mentality. Acting as a sponge, that absorbs everything because you never know when you're going to need it. From a more reflective space though, I actively take the time to learn myself by, detecting patterns within my own movements, and decisions after assessing my losses.
I then utilize those to understand why, and to reflect on how to not end up in that space again. I believe that if we shift our focus, during these down periods from, worry to solutions, it could help us ensure that we aren't in that space for too long. With my anxiety, I have to give my mind something to focus on, or else she'd just take herself out the game with worry. Fool me once, but I truly work to ensure that I can't be gotten twice.