Throughout this series, I've tried to tactically approach a sample of the issues that affect Black women. Starting with the examination of elitism and building a better rapport amongst all of us. Then I moved into the idea of helping them grow by challenging their perspectives when they're off base, and holding them accountable for their sometime shitty actions. This week, I'll be digging into ways that we can aid our sister's in their glow up.
Before even taking a look at the the specific ways to aid your sister in her glow up, there are some foundational pieces that need to be laid out. First, please understand that not everyone's life moves at the same pace, and that there is no set pace that ones lives must move at. Often times in sister circles and friendships, there are those who move on a different tempo, and there is a worry from one that they aren't moving at a fast enough speed. You must understand that, your timing is exclusive to your journey.
In addition to the timing of a journey, the look and route of the journey is exclusive to their end game as well. Meaning that you can't measure what obstacles you may encounter, or lack there of via the next person, even if you know their truth. With that, you cannot hold your sisters to the "standard" or the manor in which you live your life or actualize your dreams, because they are not you. Furthermore, this idea of a glow in itself may have a different look and feel than what you'd consider, so keep an open mind and use the tools below to help a sista out.
When I say I have been anti-fuckboy for so long, not only do I exude nigga repellent, but my spidey sense are hyper-sensitive when it comes to fuck shit. We have all had our fair share of heartbreak and foul shit done to us, and after so much of this, we tend to forget that pussy is power. Help her see that, and help her reclaim her control. Help her to understand that regardless of her intentions, she must always move on her own speed and on her own terms. Which can thus focus her sites internally, or solely on self, where the real work is done.
I talked about it a bit before, but I grew up feeling like the Black parts of me and life were subpar due to indoctrination, with parents under the same spell. Many of us grew up this way, and I commend the parents who raise their children in the understanding that Black is brilliance. For us that didn't though, there is a grip of unlearning that we have to do, because at the point of awakening you literally re-examine and question everything. A major piece in her glow up is understanding that, while also re-examining her goals in light of it.
I read a post the other day that stated, more and more Black women are falling in love with their Blackness, and we aren't turning back. I mean at this point, I think that a good grip of us have unlearned societal beauty standards, and are truly in love with our Blackness. However, for those who have not, help them see the light. Black women are out here, lit, winning, about to flip the game on its head, and slay while doing it. Help her see both the beauty and the strength in that.
I talked about gassing your sis up a couple of posts back, but that same notion is also applicable here. In addition to the gas up though, truly be a support system for her in her aspirations. Aid her in that process, ask her what she needs, serve as a listening ear, a brainstormer, a sampler. Or better yet, find a way for the both of you to trade expertise. My best friend and I, just agreed to trade branding services for financial services. Not to say that everything has to be reciprocative, but that we should be thinking smarter in ways that we can help our sisters.
I could go on, but or sake of not making your eyes bleed (millennials attention spans are dumb low), I'll leave you with these four thought starters. There is only one post left for November's series, Being a Better Keeper for Your Sister.